Meltdowns, during and after

A child who has just come out of a meltdown is running on empty and often ashamed. What happens next decides whether they tell you it is building next time.

Food, water, quiet, in that order

Blood sugar and dehydration make the next one more likely. Repair conversations go better after a sandwich.

Wait longer than feels natural

Recovery keeps going after the crying stops. An hour, sometimes the next day, before you talk about what happened.

Name the trigger, not the behaviour

"The noise in the hall was too much" gives a child something to use. "You screamed at me" gives them something to carry.

Repair your own part out loud

If you shouted, say so. It costs nothing and it teaches the thing you are trying to teach.

When to get help

If a child is regularly hurting themselves or others, if meltdowns are getting longer over months, or if they happen daily past the early school years, that is a reason to talk to a GP, paediatrician, or occupational therapist. Nothing on this page is a substitute for that.